slowlyunfolding

 I never know if LJ is down. I keep seeing updates on Twitter that it's under attack, again & again. So here I am. *waves madly* I've missed everyone! 

Sorry for the extended radio silence. 2011 has been one lousy year. I haven't had the ability to articulate in words what has been going on. I've been madly doodling & painting in my art journal. Just this weekend I feel like I have a bit of a grip on things. 

The mister had a car accident in February. His right kneecap was broken & required surgery. Months of recovery. Huge amounts of stress & strain, both emotionally & financially.

Now, it turns out he will require heart surgery to repair and/or replace his aortic valve. This issue isn't related to the car accident. He has known about his faulty valve for years, but neither one of us expected him to need surgery now. I always assumed it would be in his '50's. So, yay, more stress & strain. Neither one of us have quite recovered from the car accident stress yet. Just as I was starting to relax too, BAM. Hit with this news. Next week, the mister goes in for an angiogram. 

Sigh. Some years are smooth sailing, some, not so much. 

For the past 2 days, every time I've come to LJ, my firewall/virus software has popped up with a warning that it blocked an intrusion attempt. I wonder if this is part of the DDOS attacks lately?? So, if you don't have firewall/virus software, & have been on LJ, I highly suggest you scan your computer & get a firewall/virus program before coming back to LJ.

I'm currently backing up to Dreamwidth. I'm there as 'slowlyunfolding' ... I'm not jumping ship yet, but I'm worried about LJ going down permanently.

Woke up around 7:45 am, which is sleeping in for me. I remember being able to sleep in when I was younger, but not so much anymore. I then wandered around my apartment for a bit, then started laundry around 8:30 am. I've got the last load in the dryer now. Yay! Another neighbour has started his wash, so it's a lucky thing that I'm almost done.

I bought new towels, pillowcases & a gorgeous black & white sheet set last night. Most of my stuff is ancient. I'm not even remotely kidding. Most of my pillowcases and sheets are actually older than me! Right before the mister's accident, I managed to rip my pillowcase in half with the lightest touch. I was sad because it had beautiful embroidery.

The cotton on all the linens I just bought is so soft, it almost feels like silk. It will be nice for sleeping on in the summer when I tend to wear very little, if anything, to bed. I can't stand scratchy linens. Obviously, I had to wash everything before it could be used to get that plastic-y store smell out. My old towels just don't dry, not even in the stupid dryer. Not a good feature for towels.

During the last load of laundry, I managed to prepare both mine & the mister's taxes. They are ready to be filed. Yay refund! 

So productive on a Saturday. It's a bit frightening!

I went to the mall today. I was a bit stir crazy from not leaving the house at all on Thursday due to the awful dizzies. I still feel a bit headachy & in need of a neck/back rub. 

I had been looking at this purse online for a couple of days and drooling. I wanted to see if it was in store to grope it and fondle it and clutch it to my bosom. I'm all about the touching. Take that as you will. It was in store AND on sale. Holy crap. It's not on sale online!

Finally went grocery shopping today. It was tiring. Mostly avoiding the one lady that seemed to want to play ram-the-cart through the entire store with me, but still, I was over an hour wandering the aisles. I didn't go shopping last week so we were really low on supplies. That means I spent a frigging ton of cash. Gah.

I made the bestest breakfast ever today. Bacon & omellettes! I'm a bit worried about the mister not getting proper food into him. So I got bossy today & made him eat. It wasn't hard! I was super picky about food as a kid. So, I never ate eggs (unless they were deviled or egg salad), and I never ate cheese of any kind. Seriously. The last time I recall eating cheese, I was at nursery school thinking, "I do not like this very much." and I didn't eat cheese again until I was 17 or 18 ... on pizza I think. Yeah, I refused to eat pizza unless it was what my mom made. She used to cook hamburger, onion & celery & pile it on one of those Kraft pizza mix things. Without cheese for me. I tried to explain to her that this was not in fact, pizza, but some weird other concotion only she dreamed up, but she would never listen to me. It was good, but it was most definitely not pizza. Nowadays, I will eat cheese, but it has to be cooked/baked/melted in some way. So the fact that I made omellettes this morning (eggs & cheese comingling together!) & LIKED it, well, it blew my mind. It's awesome to have more options on stuff to eat available to me.  I used to get so worked up & stressed about food.

Um, did I just write an entire paragraph about food?

The weather is all wonky & it's making my left knee ache. The snow seems to be melting! Melting! I'm sure it's going to snow again though, so I'm not going to get sucked into thinking Spring is really here yet. I went out with my long cardigan on instead of a jacket + scarf, and that felt really amazing. I really really want to go shopping for pretty shirts or new pair of pants/capris, but it's not in the budget at the moment. I'll have to wait. Plus, since I've been really hardcore on bringing my lunch to work 4 days out of 5, I am losing weight. Most of my fall/winter pants don't fit at all. It's getting to the point that I'm going to have to figure out how to use my sewing machine. I am scared to wind bobbins. Once I get over that fear, I know how to roll. Mostly.

I woke up about 5:40 am, slightly confused & bewildered. It took me at least 5 minutes to realize that the mister wasn't in bed with me anymore. I had piled on a lot of blankets on my side of the bed, & with the electric blanket on, I don't get cold without his body heat melting me. It turns out he needed some Advil, & was afraid to come back to bed afterwards. I got a little insane about the sleep interruption thing that's been happening every.single.night since the mister came back from the hospital. The mister decided the best thing to do was to sleep the rest of the night on the couch. Yay! He's using his noggin!! By 7:30 am, I'd spent over an hour cleaning - dishes & litter box & puddles of cat pee.

The cat is driving me insane. She keeps peeing on the floor, instead of in her litter box. Little jerk. I even bought her a new litter box! But, I don't think she likes it. Perhaps having the mister home everyday is upsetting her sense of routine & order. She's old too, almost 17, so, it's not a surprise that any kind of change throws her off. Or, she's simply being a teenager & giving me attitude. I just moved her food & water (which sits on a cutting board we bought just for this purpose), over to the other side of the kitchen near one of the other spots she likes to pee in. I cleaned this area with Nature's Miracle to get her smell out. Not sure if it's working, since she keeps going back to these areas. I think I need to strip the floor with TSP or a flamethrower & put down a new floor. Either peel & stick tiles or sheet vinyl, but something. I can't ever get the kitchen/hall floor properly clean since the surface has already been partly stripped with overly harsh floor cleaners. Not looking forward to moving everything in the kitchen & hall closets, but obviously, it will have to be done.

I'm about to slide into bed in a few minutes. I'm utterly drained. I think all the stress & worry have caught up to me. I'm not trying to get everything done on the weekend. It's just too exhausting. I didn't get laundry done on Saturday since I had to tidy up the apartment for visitors in the afternoon. I did go a little berserk on the cleaning up part, then I forced myself out to get a new litterbox for the cat & a candle for the bedroom. I really should have just gone back to bed for an hour or so, but no, I am stubborn. I just had to be out of the apartment & alone for a few hours.

I didn't bother with groceries today either. I figure we have enough food in the fridge/freezer for the next few days. I'm down with taking my lunch to work everyday now. When I get home at night, I do not like dropping my bag & barely getting my boots off & starting in on making dinner straight away. I find that is stressing me out a fair bit. I need at least half an hour after coming home to sit down & unwind. Not chat, or rush around & get things, but just sit still & decompress. I'm having trouble allowing myself to fully relax since I feel like I'm being pulled in a few different directions at once.