slowlyunfolding

After a couple of days in which I have been able to process my reactions and emotions, I have realized why I am fixated on more open communication & transparency (and so does Laurenist in her reply to Misha's original comment) for the Random Acts movement.

For me, the issue is about Trust.

For me to be able to let down my guard, I need to be kept informed. There can be no resistance or reluctance to release information, because that does not garner my trust. A lack of transparency does not inspire trust.

Random Acts is in the midst of building a relationship with this movement. It's an online relationship which in the beginning stages is awkward. Everything is new & shiny & possible.

I've been keeping a journal since 1982. Yes, since I was 10. Not exactly riveting stuff, except for the airplane hijackings & the constant fear the world was going to blow up before I would ever get to kiss a boy. Starting my first online journal (another site & long since deleted) felt weird. Distinctly odd. I was going to share those random private thoughts that nobody had ever seen before? I was taken aback when I had my very first comment on an entry. These little fragments soar off into the ether, and I have no idea where they end up, or who they touch. So, to have someone pop up & say, "I read what you wrote. It made me feel [...], that is a powerful moment of making contact. I know it takes courage to reach out & leave those little comments. There have been many times when I've chickened out because I didn't feel cool enough or smart enough or funny enough.  I never know what exactly I should reveal, should I post those pictures of my cat or will people think I'm a crazy cat lady?, etc.  I don't doubt the possibility or validity of creating & maintaining friendships online.  I am a little confused to realize there are some people that don't keep a paper or online journal (whether they keep words, art, photographs, stickers off of fruit).

I want something to believe in. Let's get random.