more from the retreat
Jul. 14th, 2009 06:40 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
slowlyunfoldingAfter our meditation session (an hour, a WHOLE hour!), our teacher read us this poem, which dissolved the lady to the left of my mat into tears.
I had a hard time staying still during the meditation. As usual. The idea for this retreat was "not to make enemies" - with a pose, or with a body part, or with yourself. It's easy to say, "Oh, I can't get into XYZ pose because I have a bad knee." I'm still processing how I feel I've changed. I simply know that somewhere deep within, there has been a shift. It might even look to be a small shift on the outside, but still, it's huge. One thing is for sure -- I definitely don't eat like the others! I really do need to invest in a healthier diet. I just thought it was odd that at the morning brunches, that veggies were put out for grazing. Like asparagus. Maybe I just have certain foods ruled off into breakfast/lunch/dinner categories, and those categories aren't really real.
One thing that has been niggling away in the back of my mind, the yoga teacher didn't have time to check out specific poses such as headstand with the ropes (either at the retreat center, or at another rope studio), because something else in her life came up in the weeks before the retreat. She didn't get into details on what prevented her from being prepared, so obviously it was personal. It was her first time running a retreat, so I think she learned a lot from the experience. There was no signage for the retreat center itself, you seriously had to know it was there in order to find it. Or so I would think, but Mike managed to find it. If I was driving, I'd be looking for the sign, not the street address.
The only thing that stands out as odd was on the second night, one roommate moved to another room. I don't know the whys or wherefores, because I didn't think there was any other free beds. It was a bit uncomfortable when we passed each other on the landing. She was in bed on Friday night way before me, and I went to bed at 10:30 pm. The third roommate came in a lot later than that. Maybe my rustling around kept her up. The bed AND pillow were squeaky. Rolling over was loud. Or, I snored super loud and was annoying to her.. But, she didn't say anything to me, so yeah. Awkward moment. I did feel like I was awkward at times ... especially when one lady asked me if I was a student or was working .. clearly she thought I was quite young as I heard her open conversation with another person the same way. I should have started off by saying that I had already gone to university, but I didn't. I think that would have broken the ice a bit further. Other people paired up quite easily, but I didn't really. When we all walked to the restaurant, I was walking by myself. I kept getting stones in my sandals which really annoyed me. It was a very positive experience overall. I was a bit nervous/scared to go off with a group of strangers because I am a bit suspicious of new situations and I'm quite tongue-tied with people I don't know.
Love after Love
The time will come
When with elation,
You will greet yourself arriving
At your own door, in your own mirror,
And each will smile at the other's welcome
And say, Sit here. Eat.
You will love again the stranger who was your self.
Give wine, Give bread, Give back your heart
To itself, to the stranger who has loved you
All your life, whom you have ignored
For another, who knows you by heart.
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,
The photographs, the desperate notes,
Peel your own image from the mirror.
Sit. Feast on your life.
-Derek Walcott-
The time will come
When with elation,
You will greet yourself arriving
At your own door, in your own mirror,
And each will smile at the other's welcome
And say, Sit here. Eat.
You will love again the stranger who was your self.
Give wine, Give bread, Give back your heart
To itself, to the stranger who has loved you
All your life, whom you have ignored
For another, who knows you by heart.
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,
The photographs, the desperate notes,
Peel your own image from the mirror.
Sit. Feast on your life.
-Derek Walcott-
I had a hard time staying still during the meditation. As usual. The idea for this retreat was "not to make enemies" - with a pose, or with a body part, or with yourself. It's easy to say, "Oh, I can't get into XYZ pose because I have a bad knee." I'm still processing how I feel I've changed. I simply know that somewhere deep within, there has been a shift. It might even look to be a small shift on the outside, but still, it's huge. One thing is for sure -- I definitely don't eat like the others! I really do need to invest in a healthier diet. I just thought it was odd that at the morning brunches, that veggies were put out for grazing. Like asparagus. Maybe I just have certain foods ruled off into breakfast/lunch/dinner categories, and those categories aren't really real.
One thing that has been niggling away in the back of my mind, the yoga teacher didn't have time to check out specific poses such as headstand with the ropes (either at the retreat center, or at another rope studio), because something else in her life came up in the weeks before the retreat. She didn't get into details on what prevented her from being prepared, so obviously it was personal. It was her first time running a retreat, so I think she learned a lot from the experience. There was no signage for the retreat center itself, you seriously had to know it was there in order to find it. Or so I would think, but Mike managed to find it. If I was driving, I'd be looking for the sign, not the street address.
The only thing that stands out as odd was on the second night, one roommate moved to another room. I don't know the whys or wherefores, because I didn't think there was any other free beds. It was a bit uncomfortable when we passed each other on the landing. She was in bed on Friday night way before me, and I went to bed at 10:30 pm. The third roommate came in a lot later than that. Maybe my rustling around kept her up. The bed AND pillow were squeaky. Rolling over was loud. Or, I snored super loud and was annoying to her.. But, she didn't say anything to me, so yeah. Awkward moment. I did feel like I was awkward at times ... especially when one lady asked me if I was a student or was working .. clearly she thought I was quite young as I heard her open conversation with another person the same way. I should have started off by saying that I had already gone to university, but I didn't. I think that would have broken the ice a bit further. Other people paired up quite easily, but I didn't really. When we all walked to the restaurant, I was walking by myself. I kept getting stones in my sandals which really annoyed me. It was a very positive experience overall. I was a bit nervous/scared to go off with a group of strangers because I am a bit suspicious of new situations and I'm quite tongue-tied with people I don't know.