body

Jul. 14th, 2010 08:38 pm
slowlyunfolding: (life in progress)
This morning I had a bit of a body-image blah. Not a tweak-out, not hysterics, just a feeling of "OMG this shirt *is* too big on me and looks horrible. I wanted to ransack my closet/laundry basket/universe for something else I could wear to work, and I just knew I didn't have anything in there that I wanted or really suits this time of year. I just wanted to feel ... pretty. I did put on a fine gauge 3/4 sweater that I love. At the end of the day waiting for the bus I was pretty toasty, but still, I felt nicer in it. The office was super air conditioned today, so at times I did feel chilly.

What it came down to was realizing that I want(ed) to rip out that part of me that doesn't like how I look, what size or shape I am. I want to silence that voice that is so harsh & relentless that is on loop in the back of my head sometimes. It's not always there. But when it rears it's head, I feel frustrated and reduced.

Small universe in my head, I take up space. Deal with it.

*finger snap*

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