Feb. 18th, 2011

slowlyunfolding: (exposed heart (art by audrey kawasaki))
I've finally had a shower today. I feel much better for it! The mister is doing well, the drugs are helping with the pain, but only if he is not moving around. I should have set an alarm this morning & woken him up to give him another dose, but I didn't, so the pain woke him up. It takes roughly an hour for the pills to have any effect. I have been designated as spotter while he is in the bathroom. His balance is much improved today since the morphine & epidural he was given for the surgery have worn off. Apparently he was awake for most of the surgery, until he passed out. He opted for the epidural so he could be released the same day. Otherwise, the hospital would have kept him overnight. The mister was not happy that he couldn't feel anything below his waist. He said that he was poking himself in the butt & that it was so weird that he could feel his finger touching something, but not the corresponding response from his body as to where he was touching. The upshot is that Mike will be off his leg for 6 weeks, then require a further 6 weeks of therapy. That will put us into May ... which seems so far away.

Yesterday felt like the longest day ever. I tried having a nap on the couch when I found out the mister was coming home that afternoon, but as soon as I fell asleep I jolted awake again. Every noise in the parking lot set me off. I couldn't just relax, I had the worst headache & I was getting so phoned out my voice was hoarse. I was on the phone almost as much as I am at work! I kept my wits about me & took notes/wrote down everything I needed to while talking to the various people. When I went to the towing place to get Mike's stuff out of the car, that was hard. The hood & front end looked like an accordion. Getting the front license plate off was easy, since it was tossed inside the car as it was still attached to part of the bumper. Luckily, we had a screwdriver & got the back license plate off no problem.

Picking up the rental car was fun. Since I don't have a credit card, I had to put down $150 security deposit. I'll send that receipt to the insurance company. I'm sure I'll have a nice pile of crap for them soon enough. I was a little bewildered that they didn't have the car ready for me to go, I had to wait while they washed it. Bizarre. Also, I haven't really driven in a long time. The mister & I are almost always together, so he always drives. I had to get turned around to head back to the apartment, at rush hour, at one of the busy intersections ever. The rental car place has a weird entrance that you can only turn right out of. Not that turning left is really an option there. I was already past maximum safe stress limits. It didn't help that I felt so exhausted & burned out. I had a crying episode in the shower yesterday morning. That was due to feeling completely & utterly alone. The mister is my best friend, so I talk to him about everything. Not being able to turn to him & knowing he was hurt set me off. I appreciate all the good wishes & hugs & stuff everyone has sent my way. It helped me immensely! I love you all. I have a hard time asking for help, and the past two days have been eye opening for me. 

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slowlyunfolding

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